Oh God, He’s Ranking The Elden Ring DLC Weapons (Patch 1.12.3)
salutations toothbrush chewers you’re probably wondering how I got on top of this Arch well stick around to the end of the video and I probably won’t tell it it’s no clip I I just no clipped up here and I didn’t really think about this beforehand but uh it’s kind of dangerous getting down so uh if this is where I’m faded to meet my demise then so be it I guess time to time to start the video let’s go let’s do it did I did I do it or shadow of the earth tree brings 103 new weapons to the table and although I’ve already come to terms with my inevitable Destiny and what that means for me I am a man who likes to work smarter so instead of ranking them all at once or even by respective categories I’m just going to do the simple task of lining up what I think are the most glossed over underrated weapons nobody gives a [ __ ] about and should give a [ __ ] about so that means no ranana twin blades no Dragon Hunter no Starline sword night swword pretty much no katas like at all no backhand blades none of that Frost Fu [ __ ] you saw in ftra life we’re digging deep into the drgs of hell for this one and unearthing the Diamonds this community has all but glossed over because they saw how powerful and penetrable Thorns was and marched right through the DLC like it was a bump in the road on the way to seeing their daughter’s fifth grade trumpet recital wait what what do you what do you mean what do you mean check the website they just dropped a patch are you serious well God [ __ ] damn it all right do I dare just just one change one change is all I care about you’ll make my day just please tell me you fixed it of course not why the [ __ ] would you honestly number nine the horned warriors’s great swword probably the second greatest physical CGS in the game’s weapon pool trailing only slightly behind the blood hounds Fang it might not be my favorite weapon it’s only barely my favorite CGS and I’ll explain why in just a minute but it has one of the best and most honorable traits a weapon could have it has a unique skill that’s more than capable enough to rank among the Giants the colossi the biblical Ballers with names demanding respect yet the standard R ones on it are still more than anything you’d ever need that is the sign of a great weapon in my book it can show off when it needs to but it’s perfectly within reasonable power level of stimulating the ancient caveman recesses of your brain by smacking down literal Gods with a couple basic Bonks on the head even the Des scalings in decks in faith aren’t completely bad if you’re on a new game plus build with 80s and multiple stats that extra help is going to start adding up after a while but the high be in strength is the obvious Focus it’s what a people’s weapon would be if said person had loose surface level connections to the burgeois if you’re not impressed by it it’s because it doesn’t deem you worthy of its effort or respect however this is unfortunately where my high praises must come to an end because here in lies a strangely recurring problem in how fromsoft tends to handle its weapon balancing and ultimately why this CGS ended up being at the bottom of this list fromsoft as You’ have likely observed already has a nasty habit where they cook up the most wonderful weapons and unique skills and then Outsource the game balancing to Jacob from Gamestop tested at 80 strength dexterity and Faith the first two hits of the weapon skill hit for 1954 83 3 and 1905 respectively this shouldn’t happen right Dex and Faith even have the same exact scaling on this CGS even down to the decimal point which is25 at plus 0 so why am I hitting for more damage with 80 Faith than I am with 80 decks well this is because the unique skill also tacks on a flat 35 Holy damage per hit something you probably wouldn’t have even noticed unless you dug into the game’s parameters like I did I am just getting sick of this [ __ ] honestly it’s not even that bad it’s not like from has engaged in dire affronts to humanity summoning demons in their basement or anything I’m not throwing [ __ ] fits at my roommate about it I just don’t understand it I don’t understand it and I want to understand I want to understand why this game’s weapon scaling system just can’t help itself from being so misleading at times number eight pole blade of the bud the somber Arcane weapon pool is not a small one but they do tend to share a particularly annoying theme with a particularly annoying status effect a status effect that might not serve you as well as you think it will in the final area of the game if you’re initially dissuaded by its slightly weaker physical damage than most other howb birds then well I mean firstly you probably just leveled yourself like a goober because there’s honestly nothing wrong with this damage and secondly it uses the alternate hird move set of the Guardian Sword spear which heightens its DPS by a pretty significant amount tested against the dragon hird it still outpaces it in damage quite a bit even without its rot buildup the second hit on its unique skill and the subsequent butterflies it spawns in is very difficult to miss with and the unique skill slinging your character around like a sloppily put together roller coaster at the county fair sometimes leads to you accidentally avoiding an attack or two but something I’ve been recently thinking about in regards to rot builds is that there’s no expedited delivery option that comes with its dot poison builds get the moth flight Dash but the only thing you can really do after giving someone the rot is just pray to God they leave you the [ __ ] alone and get distracted by a shiny penny on the other side of the arena or something so technically my only real complaint with this weapon just so happens to be my scathing review against the rot system itself the rot institution the Scarlet College if you will it’s still the wholesale ass kick of a weapon all of its positives ring true nonetheless and you’re still just one Talisman away from having one of the baddest builds in the business number seven the sword of light and the Sword of Darkness both both both of them both of these right here sometimes I feel a bit sorry for fromsoft they’ve obviously taken a liking to adding purposefully shitty weapons into the pool but I can’t help but feel like it was never meant to be taken as seriously as it was by the rest of the community like surprising your pet of vers grandpa with a stray unvaccinated cat as an April Fool’s joke and then realizing you have to support it for the next 15 [ __ ] years whenever we find a bad weapon like the soup ladle or the broken straight sword we just can’t stop ourselves from trying to make it viable hey I’m having some trouble doing damage with this sword well that’s because it’s a broken straight sword you just got pranked [ __ ] wasn’t that funny I mean I guess but it would be great if it did more damage or something well yeah we made it deal shitty damage on purpose that’s part of the joke I can’t beat the final boss with the broken sword you gave me no no no no you’re not supposed to okay God [ __ ] damn it fine here’s an alter use the shitty sword here and it’ll turn into something else okay are we good these two swords have some of the flashiest unique skills in the DLC which if you aren’t careful can run sort of contradictory to what the word underrated means but I would still consider these underrated because for every one person I see discovering how wonderfully these swords handle groups of enemies there seem to be 87 others salivating over the large Katana that does large Katana things and and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that but what I am saying is the DLC still being relatively new means you’re on a [ __ ] timer so you might want to try out something new before people start dog piling on you number six the deadly poison perfume bottle and the chilling perfume bottle and [ __ ] it the entire perfume bottle weapon class just belongs up here cuz now that Talisman is finally something worth giving a double fisted [ __ ] about but mostly the deadly poison variant because I think people see that its unique skill poisons you automatically and they just don’t want to have anything to do with it let me explain why you should fight that ancient Reptilian Brain of yours and embrace that HP sap this weapon indirectly Buffs two tools in the base game okay well three technically counting the perfumer Talisman but I already mentioned that one the other two are rot exaltation which didn’t even need any help and poison moth flight which may have needed one I don’t know I don’t use it enough to have an opinion but I may have given it some bad press in a uh previous life or something maybe and now my Good Samaritan ass is trying to slap an undo button on that [ __ ] so more people will pay attention to it okay so if you don’t know pmf1 is a really funny acronym and two acts as a sort of poison detonation Button getting hit with it while poisoned immediately takes all the poison damage you would have had to deal with for the next X amount of seconds and throws it in your face all at once instead this ash of war is the single reason why poison builds are even remotely usable now it’s one of the extremely sparse Dex Arcane weapons available in the entire game that isn’t Katana and even though its total damage probably ends up being less than what it would have been if you had leveled intelligence and went with the chilling bottle instead I still would rather go with the poison bottle just because arcane builds are being thrown a [ __ ] Feast with this DLC and I want to keep my options open number five the death Knights long half axe I prefer the long half ax over the twin axes because of its vertical hitbox displacement meaning if you time it right you can even use the jump on the second half of the unique skill to avoid horizontal attacks it’ll almost never happen on purpose but it is a happy little coincidence when you manage to hop over something that would have otherwise buried its ax into your lucky stupid [ __ ] face head being able to close so much distance in a single button press is really convenient and gives you a lot of control over how you engage in fights the only thing I’m not too fond of is the B scaling in strength which can feel kind of uncomfortable considering this is a lightning weapon but the unique skill does scale with weapon level pretty much exclusively and no matter how I split my stats the final damage never really deviated more than 1 or 200 from its Max making it a pretty accessible lightning weapon for strength builds and if that doesn’t sound enticing enough the unique skill can power armor through a [ __ ] Shield Bash from a tree Sentinel which was something I tested completely on purpose Number Four The Sword Lance power stancing hts’s are sort of like impressing girls in high school by showing them videos of your laring sessions but not telling them you had to get your dad to film them all cuz none of your friends wanted to be a part of it however I still respect those who do so with unwavering confidence and if you are it might be time for your Redemption for the sword Lance has somehow ended up being completely glossed over on the tier list of most YouTubers simply because people are heartbroken that it wasn’t a sword Catalyst hybrid that boosted gravity sorceries I guess I I don’t know that for it’s me I I I’m [ __ ] I’m the one who’s disappointed and I’m sure thousands of others are as well so I’m just trying to be a voice for the [ __ ] people I get who who even cares who gives a [ __ ] what the sword Lance is is a [ __ ] monster objectively the heavy sword Lance has one of the best strength scalings of any weapon in the DLC it’s a legendary tier weapon that’s fully customizable with affinities and weapon ashes it’s compatible with one of the coolest new ashes of War which is spinning gravity thrust and each swing inflicts 55 stamina damage which is well above the average for heavy thrusting swords the running heavy attack resembles that of a lance or a great spear which contributes to its heavier feel and it hits like Mike godamn Tyson 5 months after his prison sentence it comes with all the benefits of a regular old HTS with some extra stamina damage pairing well with the hammer Talisman oddly enough and the unique charge R2 while riding horseback is really fun with the Lance Talisman if anyone remembers that piece of [ __ ] number three the red bear’s claw claw of a great red bear wielded without without modif ification whatever the [ __ ] that means did your player character rip them off rugala thems and just slam your fists into them and start using them like boxing gloves okay well the range isn’t anything too impressive but the first R1 and R2 in each sequence closes about as much distance as a running attack from any other weapon to make up for it so if you have good spatial awareness this weapon is going to feel very comfortable for you to use the distance closing isn’t really there on the unique skill but it does have a lingering hit box that hits for around a third of the damage of the actual attack red bear claw also has a b scaling strength but the actual value is slightly higher than let’s say the death Knight’s long half at 62 honestly you almost forget about the 45 bleed buildup making it a nice little surprise whenever it procs Beast claws seem to be another one of those status no matter what subclasses of artillery plus bleed is a stat that’s usually associated with Dex weapons making the red bear claw the perfect tool for strength builds to cause play as malignant tumors in PvP number two the shadow sunflower Blossom ah [ __ ] sorry could have sworn there was a boss down here a second ago it’s divided evenly between physical and holy damage but the faith scaling actually edges just a bit ahead by 10 points making this primarily a faith weapon normally I tend not to gravitate towards weapons with split damage because I think it’s just signing up for more trouble than they’re worth most of the time but every so often a moon Veil or a magma worm CGS Finds Its way into the Dirt Pile and makes you reconsider all your opinions and after carefully and meticulously diagramming all the positives and negatives and mathematically Computing its overall significance versus alternative options I came to the scientific conclusion that you are tossing around a fuckload of holy damage right here 16 lbs is also pretty ridiculously light for a colossal weapon and that’s considering it comes with the same Poise damage as every other colossal and if you’re a fan of free things free samples free trials that don’t charge your credit card later you’ll fall in love with the free bite of HP you’re taken out of General redheads health bar over here you could face tank the open palm of God him with this unique skill the only way this skill could be more unfair to your foes would be if it just disables your hitbox and vented anything from doing damage to you when this flower sunburnt [ __ ] up face hits the ground it might as well just take your right to the end credits number one the flower Stone gavl not only do I think this is the most underrated weapon right now but this could be a top Contender for my personal favorite weapon in the DLC not only were axes and hammers given massive animation speed Buffs in 1.12 that make night and day differences in their damage and Poise munching potential but the way the weapon handles scaling just feels uniquely incredible first lightning would usually scale with decks but this being a dragon communion weapon means the damage of its unique skill is tied exclusively to its Arcane secondly the standard attacks of the weapon itself are all physical damage while the unique skill is only lightning damage this is ultimately a good thing in my opinion because it means you don’t have to worry about losing out on potential damage due to it having to muscle through enemy defenses against two different elements but this weapon is my personal favorite not because of its damage not because it has outrageous damage bonus modifiers versus dragons of both types while also being a pierce weapon which is something I almost just gave up hope on them ever getting right not even the unique skill itself but the effects that are tied to its unique skill specifically and I’m going to explain why getting hit with the unique skill reduces lightning damage negation by 23% however charging the skill triggers a different more powerful version of the effect that reduces it by 30% both of which last for 20 seconds I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen any weapon in this game have a boosted negation effect that’s determined by whether or not the skill attached to it is being charged and I just think that’s really [ __ ] cool I always thought charging versus not charging something was a pretty straightforward decision most of the time just because the only thing being affected was its damage and with flower Stone gavel added to the mix that’s no longer the case now that decision ends up being much more important because that’s 7% more lightning damage from any source that I could be missing out on potentially here they are these are my sleeper picks and the only reason the Anvil Hammer isn’t here is because it was too godamn heavy for me to build around even though it’s still a great weapon don’t worry if if you use it it’s fine uh okay that’s that’s it that’s all I got see you
📜 – – – DESCRIPTION – – – 📜
Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree brings over 100 new weapons to the table, and although I’ve already come to terms with what that means for my inevitable destiny, I am a man who likes to work smarter. That means putting together a quick, impromptu list of sleeper hit weapons that I’ve seen literally nowhere… maybe one or two places. Some of these may not even be that underrated by the time the video actually comes out. Oops.
Subscribe to my editor: @AuramAlexander
⚙️ – – – MODS – – – ⚙️
→ TES IV Iron Maiden Armor Set by tchjay92 ► https://www.nexusmods.com/eldenring/mods/3703
→ Bloodborne Hunter Set by snivy101 ► https://www.nexusmods.com/eldenring/mods/3879
⌚ – – – TIMESTAMPS – – – ⌚
00:00 Intro
01:30 Horned Warrior’s Greatsword
03:46 Poleblade of the Bud
05:12 Sword of Darkness/Light
06:37 Deadly Poison Perfume Bottle
08:05 Death Knight’s Longhaft Axe (this is still underrated right?)
09:01 Sword Lance
10:24 Red Bear’s Claw
11:24 Shadow Sunflower Blossom
12:37 Flowerstone Gavel
📝 – – – RESOURCES – – – 📝
→ Smithbox 1.0.14.3 – https://github.com/vawser/Smithbox/releases/tag/1.0.14.3
#eldenringdlc #shadowoftheerdtree #eldenring